TalesFrom.com

I was working the register, and a man came up buying books. Everything was going along like a normal day, until I realized that I had no quarters in my till. The coinage I owed the man was fifty cents so I gave him 5 dimes.

The man became outraged! He literally shouted, "what's this? Dimes!?". I explained the coin shortage and the man roared that he didn't want dimes! I needed to call a manager to bring quarters so I told him I would do that.

"What?! No!" The man vehemently expressed that he didn't want to wait. He slammed his books on the counter and proclaimed that he would return them rather than take the dimes.

Only a manager can perform a "return" transaction, so I told the man that he would have to wait for me to call a manager either way.

I imagine that, if a hurricane were tackled, pinned, and stuffed into an airplane vodka bottle, it would bare a striking resemblence to this man.

He waited, fuming, as I served the next customer in line. The manager finally came. She carefully removed the quarters and counted them despite my urging. The man snatched his quarters and returned the foul dimes before storming out the doors.

submitted by: Natalie from California

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Working the night shift at Borders Books doesn’t sound exciting, but sometimes it is, especially in the café.

There was one night when this guy who looked like he was from the Whole Earth Festival came into the café. (Whole Earth is best described through it’s participants) Let’s just say I didn’t know anyone still wore bear pelts.

This is Burning Man, but the look is similar to Whole Earth

Anyhoo, I was stocking the condiment bar when our be-dreadlocked fellow entered. He was mumbling to himself constantly. As I refilled the lids and straws, he proceeded to remove half of the sugar packets from their compartment. He took the bottom half and poured the sugar into an empty 32 oz paper coke cup. He then put all of the sugar packets he had removed back. During this bizarre event, I increasingly felt as though he was mumbling at me. Eventually, I was certain he had mumbled something at me. I indicated that I hadn’t heard and he asked, just a little louder, “Stuart, are you immortal?”

My name tag showed my name so that was disconcerting for a moment; I must admit though, I had never been asked something that strange by someone that strange who was standing that awkwardly close to me.

“I don’t know,” I quipped stepping aside and putting the space bubble back between us, “but I never really wanted to test that.”

The mumbling fellow nodded his scruffy self and mumbled “Yes, yes, of course, that makes sense” sort of noises. He said “good bye, Stuart the immortal” and left with his cup of sugar.

submitted by: Stuart from California

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At one particular U2 concert, Bono had just finished a moving song and was about to talk about saving kids in Africa that are dying of AIDS. They die in the hundreds of thousands every day. He began to clap his hands in the boundless silence of the stadium. Finally, he said into the microphone, “Every time I clap my hands, a child dies.” A fan shouted into the silent abyss of air, “Then why don’t you f%$#ing stop!”

submitted by: anonymous

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This guy walks in to a Barnes and Nobles café. He asks the “barista” for a cappuccino in a ceramic “for here” type mug. The café sellers inform the guy that B&N Café does not have ceramic mugs.

“Well, what about those?” the invasive customer asks, gesturing towards the tiny single and double shot espresso cups.

The purpose of the 1.5 oz - 2.5 oz is explained to the customer (espresso only, they’re too small for anything else). The client then asks, and then demands that his cappuccino be poured out into several of the little cups.

He received about 5 little cups. He came back again for the same thing.

submitted by: anonymous

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Looking for a gift can be difficult, so it’s good to remember the ol’ standbys:

• Money
• Gift card for food
• Gift card for the whole mall
• “I was thinking of you” greeting card
• Picture frames
• Candles
• Alcohol

And of course

• Band shirts with a gift receipt

I was looking for the latter when I encountered a t-shirt I couldn’t read. It was black and the design on it was a swirl of shapes filled with different patterns in greens and yellows. One of the sellers at the store walked by in a hurry so I quickly asked if she knew what band the shirt was for.

She said “yes”

I waited a second and asked if she could tell me the band name and she said “yes”.

I was confused as to why the seller wasn’t telling me what band was on the shirt so I asked again and when I got “Yes” I realized my mistake.

The negative space/positive space thing made me not recognize the one word band name. “Yes”

submitted by: anonymous

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A friend of mine used to work at American Eagle.

He told me of a time when a guy walked in and said “dude dude dude dude dude dude, I need some pants.” My friend asked if there was a specific kind of pants the customer wanted. “I want pants that will making my Johnson look huge.” My friend said, “Have you tried a sock?” The compensating consumer laughed, and then said “no, seriously, dude.”

“well,” said my friend, “We have our low rise boot cut jeans that are…umm…tighter in the crotchal region.”

“thanks” said the customer, hurrying off.

My friend ran to the other end of the store to be safe. But the client came out of the fitting room and found him, “Those didn’t work.”

submitted by: anonymous

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